#NotAChristian: Thoughts on Kim Davis

I am consumed by the story of Kim Davis – the Kentucky clerk who recently went to jail over her refusal to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. There is so much hyperbole being thrown around by the Religious Right that one would think we were watching a Shakespearean play with a cast of village idiots and GOP presidential contenders.

How people can claim they are being discriminated against by the government on one hand while counting their tax-free tithes in the other is beyond me. Haven’t the governments of the world almost always stooped to the demands of the religious?

What I do expect is for someone to do the job they were hired to do. Kim Davis is an employee of the people of her county. They elected her and pay her wages. She knew gay marriage was a possibility when she ran (she spoke of it to a friend and said she was against it), yet she ran anyway. To claim her religious beliefs as a reason for not doing her job is insulting to the people she works for.

Regardless of the sound bytes from Mike Huckabee (sneer) and Ted Cruz (evil side-eye), this case isn’t about religious freedom at all. It is about government and the law of the land. The Supreme Court didn’t create a new law (as Huckabee states), nor did they molest the Constitution. They simply said denying same-sex couples equal rights was unconstitutional. Because it is.

The federal judge wasn’t discriminating against Christians by throwing Davis in jail for violating the law. She ignored his order, so she paid the consequences. Anyone, religious or not, would have been in that jail cell.

Yesterday’s display outside the jail was one of the most cringe-worthy moments I have ever seen on television or in real life (and I grew up in a Pentecostal church). The raised hands, the tears, the signs comparing SCOTUS to ISIS, all strangely contrasted by a rock song blaring in the background. Sickening and downright maniacal. One has to wonder if anyone truly believes this is about religious freedom, when it is so clear it is about fame and pandering to the Religious Right.

I also find it ironic that Davis is getting so much support from Christians when she is in her fourth marriage. People are more than happy to point out the few verses in the Bible that supposedly condemn homosexuality, yet they ignore the fact that Jesus spoke over and over about the sins of divorce and remarriage. It is a shame that the “Christians” we see on television during these shenanigans are always so far from being Christ-like. And I don’t mind admitting I find them downright terrifying.

At this point, I simply wish it would all blow over and go away. I hope Kim Davis returns to work and allows her deputies to continue issuing licenses or resigns from her position. What I expect to see is her continuing to defy the law and going back to jail.

Because that means the news cameras and Republican candidates will continue to hang around.

Onward and upward

It has been a long time since I wrote anything here, but I wanted to detail a huge change in my life that I am very excited about. As of June 1st, my father, a former coworker, and I are partners in owning and operating a small business. Although I legally became a business owner at the beginning of 2014, we have only just now been able to purchase and take over operations of an existing business where we were employed.

We also purchased a new 12,000 sq. ft. building this summer that we hope to be in by the end of the year. The building required quite a bit of demo and construction to make it fit our needs, but things are rolling along nicely.

As the person who manages and takes care of most of the administrative duties of our new business, I have been receiving a lot of “on the job” training in the responsibilities of business ownership. There are things I never dreamed of worrying about that I now have to stress over in the evenings when I should be relaxing, but I believe most of my worrying will settle down as I become more comfortable in my position.

One of the hardest parts of my new position is being responsible for the company’s finances. We currently have a great crew of six full-time employees, and it is a heavy weight to realize you are responsible for not only your own livelihood, but also the well-being of your employees and their respective families.

I was once told I was a “yielder,” so being a boss isn’t something that comes naturally to me. It is even harder when you were nothing more than a coworker to most of them only a couple of months ago. It is usually difficult for me to say something to someone about being late, or taking a long break, or not respecting the rules, but, again, I believe this will improve with time.

I hope to be respected by my employees and seen as fair and empathetic, but I also don’t want to be seen as a weak pushover. While reading Good Boss, Bad Boss by Robert I. Sutton, PhD, I learned that all of a boss’s characteristics (good and bad) are exaggerated in the eyes of their employees. I am trying to be cognizant of that on a daily basis.

It is nice having two business partners who not only excel at their own responsibilities in running the company, but who recognize what I do and don’t take it for granted. All three of us get along well and have mutual respect for one another.

I am so thankful for the opportunities I have been given in life, and it is with a grateful heart that I look toward the future.


I am done.

I no longer feel the need to change your mind, to make you see the truth, to convince you that some things are as obvious as the nose on your face.

Your bigotry is astounding, your religion is as flawed as your logic, you make my head hurt and my stomach turn.

I am tired. Twenty years of arguing and pleading my case has left me worn and weary. I can only imagine you are just as bored with those same talking points you have been using for so long, even though you keep throwing them like daggers in hopes they will stick in someone every once in a while.

I used to care what you think. About me. About people like me. About people completely unlike me who you insist are my bedfellows simply because we share the commonality of belief in human dignity and justice.

But I don’t care any more.

You are so hell-bent on hatred and bigotry that nothing could convince you to change your mind. You revel in your role as victim, and you nurture your prejudice under the umbrella of religious freedom.

You make me sick.

You read your book, say your prayers, and flood the internet with your attacks on the “least of these.” You say God made us all in his image in one breath, then damn us all to hell in the next. I can only hope there is no afterlife, because I can’t stand the thought of spending eternity with you.

So we have reached an impasse, as it were. I can’t change your mind any more than you can change my sexuality. The only thing I can change is whether or not I waste another minute of my life on you.

You are the past, but I am the future.

Marriage equality is law



After two decades as an openly-gay man, I am one step closer to having the same rights as everyone else in this country. It isn’t every day that we get to witness true history being made on the civil rights front, but this is definitely one of those days.

Hooray for SCOTUS and all the men and women who worked tirelessly to make this happen. I am proud to be part of a community that doesn’t sit back and settle, but fights for what it wants. Here’s hoping the world becomes a much kinder and gentler place going forward.

I will try to write more later, but I am too excited to concentrate right now. =)