12 reasons gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry

This list uses sarcasm to show the ignorance of arguments against same-sex marriage. Please read it with a sense of humor. Just for the record, I am gay and support marriage equality for all.

  1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
  2. liberty_justice_gay_marriageGay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
  3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets, because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
  4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
  5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of unions like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
  6. The only valid marriages are those which produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet and the world needs more children.
  7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
  8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
  9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
  10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. We could never adapt to new social norms, just like we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life spans.
  11. Civil unions (providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name) are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
  12. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

Original author unknown.

225 thoughts on “12 reasons gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry

  1. Big sis says:

    The problem with society today is that gays have lied to themselves and others for so long that some people actually believe that its okay… Am I the only one who sees the problem?

  2. me says:


    • Mike says:

      I would like to hear how wanting equal rights for all is “sexist” but forcing people to only marry one particular sex is not. Doesn’t make any sense what so ever. You may disagree, but your opinion that gay marriages are “sexist” shows just how deep your ignorance lies.

    • Not all gay people are sexist. You wanna know what’s really discusting? Hateful people like you, Kate. Gay people are humans too and they deserve rights too. Prejudice and narrow minded people like you make me sick. You seriously need to talk to a therapist about your homophobia.

  3. cufflink says:

    @ Brian: Well done. Your list has taken on a life of its own and is being quoted elsewhere, which is how I discovered your blog. As for people not understanding irony, the fact that your disclaimer in the yellow boxes is even necessary illustrates the sad dumbing down of society that’s everywhere in evidence.

  4. fadedtoblack says:

    What about if a person is born intersex? Both male and female reproductive organs. What if a true hermaphrodite identified themselves as a male and was sexually attracted to females? Would the church deny them marriage just because the person just so happened to be born with both genitals?

  5. Brian,

    I have to say that you write really well. I found myself smiling, despite myself. By the way, commiserations regarding the people who don’t realise this was good satire. Next time you’ll have to hang out a big flag.

    Just one or two points of disagreement. I have always thought of marriage as a religious institution and tend towards the idea that it’s up to each institution to decide what it believes in. I find it odd that someone would get any satisfaction from successfully petitioning the government to force the Christian church to (pretend to) sanction gay marriage when we all know it is against it. If I were gay I would want nothing to do with an organisation that thinks I’m a sinner. And if the church tries to ‘remain relevant’ by simply coming into line (with a delay of a decade or two) with larger social trends, then I can see no value in the church at all. For me, its only value could be to act as a counterweight to secular trends and governmental fiats. Though I am an atheist, I would prefer the church to stick to its guns, to be a rock of ages in a sea of ever-changing morals and cultural relativism. If it isn’t that, then what is it for?

    Another point is that I have been influenced by the (gay) writer Lee Harris. He has lived with his partner for decades and is opposed to gay marriage. He feels that since the 1960s ordinary American have been forced to take part in the social experiments that progressive liberal intellectuals have forced on them. These average people have largely done so uncomplainingly since they are on the whole a good lot (as your parents seem to be). Harris believes that perhaps it is now time to stop forcing these people to live according to the progressive liberal dream and let them live according to their own traditional beliefs for a while.

    Finally, though not really connected with gay marriage, was your comment about segregated black schools. Black children tend to fail whether they are at all-black or mixed schools and whichever country they live. This is not only an American problem. The great black economist Thomas Sowell puts this down to post-1964 black culture, exacerbated by well-meaning but counter-productive liberal policies intended to help blacks. J.P. Rushton on the other hand sees the problem as both cultural and genetic (there is no purely genetic aspect to any human social problem). Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Barakc and Michelle Obama see this as a result of white racist oppression, whether conscious or not, or a legacy of slavery. You can take your pick (I pick Rushton though Sowell has some great argument) but I don’t think your analogy of segregated schools is a good one.

    • Thanks for your comment! It is nice to see one of worth, since I typically get replies from people who don’t understand sarcasm or want to tell me how horrible I am. =)

      I agree that religious institutions shouldn’t be forced to sanction marriages they disagree with, but I disagree with your statement about churches remaining the same through the ages regardless of the circumstances. It all boils down to interpretation of scripture, and the United Church of Christ (my denomination) has been accepting gays into leadership positions since 1985, and endorsed gay marriage in 2005. There are, after all, only a handful of verses in the Bible that get used against homosexuality, and none are referring to monogamous, same-sex relationships as we know them today.

  6. “It all boils down to interpretation of scripture”

    Yes, I’m sure with enough creative interpretation ‘Mein Kampf’ can be interpreted as a love song to the Jews while the Koran can be turned into an early text on women’s right and religious freedom. Personally I prefer to read than to interpret and trust that the translators knew their job. Still, what do simple-minded literalists know?

    “There are, after all, only a handful of verses in the Bible that get used against homosexuality…”

    Perhpa they are ‘used against’ homosexuality because they are anti-homosexual? And how many verses would be enough for you to regard the bible as anti-gay? Are Christians who believe the Bible looks on homosexuality as a sin misreading it or is this once again a question of interpreting things in the way that best suits you?

    ‘…and none are referring to monogamous, same-sex relationships as we know them today.’

    I suspect that if the author of the Leviticus had really intended what you are suggesting then he could have written, ‘It is an abomination for one man to lie with another, unless, of course, they are in a monogamous relationship’. Yet this is not what he wrote. Still, if we are interpreting freely, why can’t the text be made to infer that?

    Sorry if I appear to be a bit Picky, Brian, especially as I am neither anti-gay nor religious. I guess I am just anti-interpretation when you reach a point where nothing actually means anything any more.

    • You are interpreting anything you read as you read it. You and I could read the exact same verse and come away with a different meaning. If everyone got the same meaning, we would have one Christian denomination instead of hundreds.

      If you are really interested in learning more about the debate over homosexuality within the Christian community, then I would suggest “What The Bible Really Says About Homosexuality” by Daniel L. Helminiak, Ph.D.

  7. I am interested in the subject but not to the extent that I would go out and buy a book about it. Instead I will happily take your word for it that the Bible is not anti-gay.

  8. Kati Mira says:

    How can someone come up with these things homosexuality is sin as describe in the bible.
    “God created man in His image; in the Divine image he created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them, saying: ‘Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.’” (Gen. 1:28-29)

    The same was taught by Our Savior Jesus Christ: “From the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother; and shall cleave to his wife.” (Mark 10:6-7).

    Genesis also teaches how God punished Sodom and Gomorrah for the sin of homosexuality: “The Lord rained down sulphurous fire upon Sodom and Gomorrah. He overthrew those cities and the whole Plain, together with the inhabitants of the cities and the produce of the soil.” (Gen. 19:24-25)

    Repent of your ways (Revelation 3:3)
    Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you.

    (Romans 2:5) says
    But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed.

    Book of (Ezekiel 18:21) says
    But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.

    Listen and repent now before is to late don’t build up more wrath for when God comes do it now there’s still time.

    God Bless You
    Jesus Loves You

    • @ Kati: If the commandments to to be fertile and multiply automatically discount same-sex unions, then shouldn’t infertile couples be banned from marriage? Also, Sodom & Gomorrah’s sin was pointed out later in scripture as being arrogance and lack of hospitality.

      “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.” Ezekiel 16:49 NIV

  9. “If the commandments to to be fertile and multiply automatically discount same-sex unions, then shouldn’t infertile couples be banned from marriage?”

    Couples generally only find out that they are fertile or infertile after they have got married, not before. For your point to be valid everyone would have to undergo a fertility test before being allowed to get married.

  10. Kati Mira says:

    @ Brian

    To answer your question biblically speaking if you go to the bible and read it, it will have all the answers for everything your looking for.
    If you have faith in the Lord everything is Possible.

    Concerning infertile couples (Hebrews 11:11) says
    Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised.

    This bible verse shows us that even though Sara wasn’t able to have kids she had faith in the Lord and the Lord gave them their son whom’s name was Issac.

    Concerning Sodom and Gomorrah
    Why would God only destroy the city for lack of hospitality?
    I’ll use the same verse you used in The New Living Translation so we can understand it better.

    (Ezekiel 16:49)
    Sodom’s sins were pride, gluttony, and laziness, while the poor and needy suffered outside her door.

    God destroyed the city because of is sin the people in the city just wanted to drink and party and fall in their ways they wanted nothing from the Lord.

    The bible says that we will not inherit the kingdom of God if we have sin in us.

    (1Corinthians 6:9-10) says
    Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men[a] nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

    If We accept Jesus Christ into our lives he will transform us and all the old things will come to pass we will be born new.

    (Isaiah 1:18)
    “Come now, let’s settle this,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.

  11. Damien says:

    I seriously hope they never allow them to change their birth certificate. Then it will be one big game mine sweep when I start looking for girls… Besides, It doesnt even make sense, if all the gay people start getting all this surgery turning them selves in to girls or guys and then they marry another gay person that did the SAME thing, then who’s gonna be the dad and mom?!?!?! All I see is a bunch of confusion and arguments waiting to happen.

    • I don’t remember where this originally came from, but Tyler’s popular video on this subject was posted in 2008. I posted this in 2006. ;)

  12. Tyrone says:

    What is a gay ? Gay’s have right’s don’t they aren’t they human… So what is a gay right, some how this argument has become so important. We as people have so many other constructive thing’s we could pour our time and energy into. Think for a moment who in the bible got paid to marry people, I may be wrong but I don’t think a person, state , or federal system profited from marriage in the bible. So the argument boil’s down to we want to pay our money too, for what no one should charged for Love between people, rather Man and woman, or Man and man, woman and woman. This is what I think when the argument is presented $ and more of it. So save your money you work so hard for and be with who you want.

  13. Tyrone says:

    Whether or not you favor marriage as a social institution, there’s no denying that it confers many rights, protections, and benefits — both legal and practical. Some of these vary from state to state, but the list typically includes:

    Tax Benefits
    •Filing joint income tax returns with the IRS and state taxing authorities.
    •Creating a “family partnership” under federal tax laws, which allows you to divide business income among family members.

    Estate Planning Benefits
    •Inheriting a share of your spouse’s estate.
    •Receiving an exemption from both estate taxes and gift taxes for all property you give or leave to your spouse.
    •Creating life estate trusts that are restricted to married couples, including QTIP trusts, QDOT trusts, and marital deduction trusts.
    •Obtaining priority if a conservator needs to be appointed for your spouse — that is, someone to make financial and/or medical decisions on your spouse’s behalf.

    Government Benefits
    •Receiving Social Security, Medicare, and disability benefits for spouses.
    •Receiving veterans’ and military benefits for spouses, such as those for education, medical care, or special loans.
    •Receiving public assistance benefits.

    Employment Benefits
    •Obtaining insurance benefits through a spouse’s employer.
    •Taking family leave to care for your spouse during an illness.
    •Receiving wages, workers’ compensation, and retirement plan benefits for a deceased spouse.
    •Taking bereavement leave if your spouse or one of your spouse’s close relatives dies.

    Medical Benefits
    •Visiting your spouse in a hospital intensive care unit or during restricted visiting hours in other parts of a medical facility.
    •Making medical decisions for your spouse if he or she becomes incapacitated and unable to express wishes for treatment.

    Death Benefits
    •Consenting to after-death examinations and procedures.
    •Making burial or other final arrangements.

    Family Benefits
    •Filing for stepparent or joint adoption.
    •Applying for joint foster care rights.
    •Receiving equitable division of property if you divorce.
    •Receiving spousal or child support, child custody, and visitation if you divorce.

    Housing Benefits
    •Living in neighborhoods zoned for “families only.”
    •Automatically renewing leases signed by your spouse.

    Consumer Benefits
    •Receiving family rates for health, homeowners’, auto, and other types of insurance.
    •Receiving tuition discounts and permission to use school facilities.
    •Other consumer discounts and incentives offered only to married couples or families.

    Other Legal Benefits and Protections
    •Suing a third person for wrongful death of your spouse and loss of consortium (loss of intimacy).
    •Suing a third person for offenses that interfere with the success of your marriage, such as alienation of affection and criminal conversation (these laws are available in only a few states).
    •Claiming the marital communications privilege, which means a court can’t force you to disclose the contents of confidential communications between you and your spouse during your marriage.
    •Receiving crime victims’ recovery benefits if your spouse is the victim of a crime.
    •Obtaining immigration and residency benefits for noncitizen spouse.
    •Visiting rights in jails and other places where visitors are restricted to immediate family.

    Same-Sex Marriage, Civil Unions, and Domestic Partnerships

    If you are in a same-sex marriage, you are now entitled to federal benefits under the recent U.S. Supreme Court case, U.S. v. Windsor. However, the rules for eligibility will vary by federal agency.

    Many federal agencies, such as the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) and the U.S. Office of Personnel & Management look to the place of celebration (where the marriage was performed) to determine whether same-sex married couples are eligible for benefits. If you have a valid marriage, you will qualify for immigration status and federal employee benefits (if either of you works for the federal government), even if you live in a non-recognition state.

    The same goes for the IRS and eligibility for federal tax benefits. In August 2013, the U.S. Department of Treasury ruled that all same-sex couples that are legally married in any U.S. state, the District of Columbia, a U.S. territory or a foreign country will be recognized as married under all federal tax provisions where marriage is a factor.

    The Treasury Department further clarified that federal recognition for tax purposes applies whether a same-sex married couple lives in a jurisdiction that recognizes same-sex marriage (such as California) or a non-recognition jurisdiction (such as Texas). But the decision does not apply to same-sex couples in domestic partnerships or civil unions.

    See The IRS Will Recognize All Same-Sex Marriages, for more information about federal tax benefits for same-sex married couples.

    However, some federal agencies, such as the Social Security Administration, only recognize marriages that are valid in the state of domicile (where the couple lives) for the purposes of granting federal benefits. This means if you’re in a same-sex marriage, but you live in a non-recognition state, you aren’t eligible for Social Security benefits on your spouse’s work record. If you live in one of the 14 jurisdictions that recognize same-sex marriage, you will qualify for benefits. This rule also applies to Medicaid and Supplemental Security Income, Medicare, Bankruptcy filings, and benefits under the Family Medical Leave Act.

    If you are in a domestic partnership or civil union in any of the states that offer those relationship options, none of the benefits of marriage under federal law will apply to you, because the federal government does not recognize these same-sex relationships. For example, you may not file joint federal income tax returns with your partner, even if your state allows you to file your state tax returns jointly. And other federal benefits, such as Social Security death benefits and COBRA continuation insurance coverage, may not apply.

    To learn more about the rights and benefits available to same-sex couples, consult a lawyer with expertise in this area and see Making It Legal:A Guide to Same-Sex Marriage, Domestic Partnerships & Civil Unions, by Frederick Hertz with Emily Doskow (Nolo).

    Getting Married?

    If you are considering getting married, check out Nolo’s free articles on marriage requirements and prenuptial agreements.

    Updated by: Lina Guillen, Attorney
    This was copied and pasted , there are good points to marriage but again, marriage is about money.

Leave a reply