12 reasons gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry

NOTICE: This list uses sarcasm to point out the ignorance of arguments against same-sex marriage. It helps if you read it with a sense of humor. Just for the record, I am gay and support marriage equality for all.

  1. liberty_justice_gay_marriageHomosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.
  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.
  3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.
  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears’s 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn’t changed at all: women are property, Blacks can’t marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.
  6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.
  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That’s why we only have one religion in America.
  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.
  10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.


UPDATE: As everyone knows, same-sex marriage is now legal in the United States. Even so, this post from 2006 continues to be one of the most visited on my site. Although I didn’t know who the original author was when I first posted it, I recently discovered it was created by The Gator Gay-Straight Alliance at the University of Florida. Enjoy!

Author: Brian

Blogger. Bookworm. Michael Jackson fanatic. Lives in Kentucky with partner of 12 years and three fabulous felines.

379 thoughts on “12 reasons gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry”

  1. ”Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.”

    It will cause kids will realize they have more options, why not experiment?

    Can we say the robbers n thugs were all born that way and should not be locked up?

    just asking, coz homosexuals get all defensive when u question ”why/how homosexuality works”….

    1. @Channy
      So you say, because gay people are allowed to get married, we will have more people “choosing” to be gay.
      And you said that we get defensive when you ask how it works.

      So, I’m not being defensive, I’m being totally open with you, especially because I don’t know you, so I don’t care much.

      1) We don’t know how it works. Because nobody does. Do you know how heterosexuality works? I doubt it.
      2) The idea on encouraging more people to be gay is wrong. The idea is that we encourage people to be what they are. The same way a person is born blind, will you ask them to change or choose to see?

      I know several different gay people that have fought against the feeling (including me), because the world told us it is a sin. Some committed suicide, some decided never to be happy, or be who they are because they just cant, and some, like me, decided that couldn’t live a lie, and are facing, every single day, challenges, but at least we are with the person we love.

      Being gay is not a choice.
      Being vegan is a choice. I choose every single day to eat meat for lunch, because I love meat, and I couldn’t never be vegan, but should I condemn vegans? No.
      Play football is a choice. I love football, I cheer for the patriots and I get together with my friends to play. As we all know, football is made of leather, and according to the bible is forbidden, will you stop the NFL because of that?
      In few years back (50-60y), a marriage between Black and White was forbidden, are you still against it? According to your principles it is the same idea. Once they allowed, it made people realize that now, they could get married with a person with a different skin color.

      Just think about it.

      1. it all makes sense when u ask how heterosexuality works, coz i am straight i dont know HOW it works am just not sexually attracted to the same sex. i might love my girlfriends a lot an care, provide for them, live with them but not in a sexual relationship. probably its the same with you and a person of the opposite sex to u. Anyway I am sure i wont be here in the future to see ho it all ends, but i just pray everyone finds peace and happiness.

      2. Listen being gay is morally wrong…..there are males and females for a reason. Being gay is almost mainstream and a new trend. Its almost “cool” now to be gay with “oh its 2016 you cant judge”…. what i say to that is bullshit…they should not be able to marry and i feel it should be illegal to be gay……and what the author wrote above if some gay guys or lesbians choose to, lets say adopt a child because they cant have one of their own he/she is most likely going to be attracted to their own sex due to the parents being that way….Perfect example of why there should not be gays…..you take 100 gay people put them in an enclosed area for 100 years…..they will die out because life is not meant to be with the same sex….put 100 straight people put em in an enclosed area for 100 years and there will be 2x the ammount then what started…why? Because life was meant to be male and female,not male and male as well as female and female.

          1. stop being so arrogant brian. do you only want people with the same opinion as you to express it? GROW UP!!!!!!!!!

        1. @yeezyyeezy What ever happened to manners in this day and age? Didn’t your mom ever teach you that if you have nothing nice to say then you shouldn’t say anything at all? Telling you all your arguments are incorrect I believe wont make any difference to you, so I wont, buuut I will say the following:

          My question to you is this, are there hordes of The Gays trying to kill you and your family, destroy your lives and ruin the town, and if not, what is it in your own life that you’re having trouble dealing with so much so that it’s easier to be horrible towards a bunch of ordinary folk you probably hardly ever meet in real life? Are you following the lesson of treating others how you would want to be treated yourself? Is how you treat folk in your post how you want to be treated? And how are you so certain that your way of thinking is so right, would God agree? (Or even Richard Dawkins??)

          I do believe that some dude a long time ago, who’s best friend was a prostitute and probably would’ve been fine with the LGBTI folk of this world, I think had a story for all of us when we feel uncharitable towards others for all the wrong reasons:

          And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
            They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
            Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
            This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
            So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

        2. To me it is about as cool to be gay as it is to be straight. There is nothing morally wrong with it. Who is it hurting? Besides, there’s a huge deal nowadays about how the world is too overpopulated anyway, so what does it matter if they can’t reproduce?? Take my mom for instance, she had 13 kids, that’s enough kids to have like half of them gay and still be overpopulating the world in the long run!!!

        3. Jfc mate you’re not very smart are you? Firstly, if straight parents can have gay children how does having gay parents automatically make the possibility of you being gay more likely? Funnily enough, it doesn’t. And even if it somehow did, I dont see much issue with it. When two people marry *usually* it’s because they love each other. Marriage is a milestone for a lot of people. Why deny them that love? Because of their genitals? That’s incredibly sad on your part. What about infertile people? Or old people? Should they not be allowed to get married too? And if there wasnt ‘supposed to be’ gay people why do males have a g-spot in their asses? The world is also overpopulated as it is. There’s so much wrong with your argument it’s ridiculous. I recommend focusing on your own love life rather than be against anyone elses.

        4. Actually, it does not matter if those 100 people are gay or straight. You can put 100 of any sexuality in an enclosed room, they would all die out due to lack of food and water. You made a good point about how homosexuals can not reproduce with one another, but this earth has over 7 billion people, we are over populated as is and we don’t need every couple to have children.

    2. your not born gay, as you claim and God will let you know in the end. and you making mockery of his rainbow & marriage I am praying for all of you daily. God help you all…

      1. god wont help u, wot u say is just opinon. my opinon is god aint real, sorry to say. that voice in ur head is a mental ilness. theres like tons of gods an the cristian god is jus a newbie. theres heaps older an cooler gods just ask any native american. u can pray all u want it aint goin nowere, at least wile u do that u aint wotchn tv, hatin on gay people, hangin out at family planing clinics or votin 4 asshole trump. jus rmember wen u hate on sumwun if ur god wer reel hed jus think ur a asshole 2.

  2. On this site, how do you report and remove someone article.
    Im not of the gay community but this articles is a magnet for those idiotic, extremely immature and let’s not forget religious who have a problem with basically everything, if I don’t receive a answer that’s cool too I’m doing everything I can to have this removed it sends such a immature and under educated message that being gay is a problem when in fact, anyone who has a problem with someone’s secondary characteristics Has a problem I can’t under the type of “fucked up” a person has to be a effected by something that shouldn’t impact your life unless your gay and don’t even start with religious says it’s bad, bitch grow up and think for your self the book also says slavery is okay too, I think every ones problem is they can’t handle that times are moving away from their own childish and I closed mind set that’s held society back for years, Gay persons and couples are not in any way shape or form a problem to society you all are they have just as much right. I’m glad all states legalized this notion I really am, points out who the unnecessary and ignorant truely are and it’s not gay people. The fact that there’s still idiots who go out if they’re way to write garbage about a subject most are comfortable with is beyond me your all sick, if these are the lessons your parents thought you or your God thought you consider them just as much as a failure as you, don’t bother changing your mind set just kill yourselves we don’t need assholes like yourselves to hold back a maturing society. I’m getting this bullshit removed

    1. Good luck with that, Gerard. I posted it, and I’m gay. It’s called satire. Look up the definition and calm the eff down. Seriously, I am so tired of this kind of comment. Does no one know how to take a joke anymore? Is sarcasm a lost art form? Good lord.

      1. was not funny though. Why not address the real reason why gays want same sex marriage? love is love is a weak argument. Marriage is an outdated institution anyway. i’m not homophobic and believe everyone has the right to be happy, but far more important issues need attention before this, you know like poverty and homelessness.

        1. Plenty of people think it is funny, so I’m not concerned with tickling your particular sense of humor. I have addressed the reasons I support same-sex marriage many times on this website, so use the search bar and enlighten yourself. You are clearly homophobic, because you are spending too much time on here replying negatively to comments that support equality. There are always going to be “more important issues” and I do what I can by giving to various charities. Do you?

  3. i guess it is very important to know that we r born normal . i dont know how this gay thingy will work out . but it is still not clear that our future will we bright or in darkness . i beg u lord please ….make every individual normal so that no problem may occur at the time of your judgement .

      1. normal: 1. conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. 2. a line at right angles to a given line or surface. i assume the second definition is straight lines not bent lol

        conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

  4. Just wanted to add my two cents worth :) An hilarious little piece, nicely highlighting the irrationality of most of the anti-gay marriage arguments (although I’m not sure it strictly counts as sarcasm, I would have classed it as irony. But that’s just me). I’ve searched for yonks for a decently challenging and rational argument for keeping marriage exclusive to heterosexuals in this day and age in our Western society, but alas, have found nought. What I have found so far (at least within the bounds of my intellectual skills and capacities) is a basis for the motivation I believe is part of the negative reactivity seen among the folk labelled as conservative Christian and/or socially neoconservative. Given that a quick perusal through the history books shows us that despite the broad church that is society, from the peaceful Moriori to the extreme warrior culture of the Maori (both are directly descended from common ancestors less than two millennium ago, and upon discovering the existence of the Moriori in the late 1800’s some Maori tribes almost wiped out the Moriori. An interesting indictment on how cultures change given they started from the same place) there is a need for a covenant between society and it’s people to allow for the best chance that society will last. As there tends not to be a strict delineation between older cultural trends to the newer ones we can safely assume societies evolve. This change is what some parts of society fixate on, believe it or not once upon a time there was much controversy surrounding the introduction of electric lighting and the like! The question is why? And my best explanation is that among the glorious variation that exists within our species we have a percentage of folk who have a very concrete way of processing information in combination with heightened threat perception (eg paranoia), a strong dissociative capacity (allowing incompatible logical thought processes to coexist without psychosis) and an ability to compartmentalise their empathic responses to their immediate social collective. These are all fantastic survival traits for small tribal cultures living in hostile environments, natural and human threats, but don’t do so well in large populations in times of relative peace. If one views the old testament in that context it makes sense, small tribes of Jews surrounded by hostile tribes and desert, shell fish poisoned by sewerage, pigs living with human waste and parasites, there’s no room for error in the fight for survival. So my conclusion is that the folk who are so aggressively fearful of concepts such as gay marriage are born with brains primed for hypervigilance and concrete thinking and quite often brought up having those thinking styles reinforced, because ironically, those traits do tend to have degrees of inheritability. So, just like being somewhere on the spectrum from heterosexual to homosexual isn’t a choice, I believe that intellectual and emotional capabilities fall into the same category. Thus, the only way to progress is to show humane respect, love and patience with our less understanding cousins while firmly sticking to the points that history shows leads to a fairer and more peaceful society that is suitable for our day and age. Kind of like what (from my limited Bible studies) Jesus espoused right?

  5. I honestly dont think Same sex marriage is right.Its unatural.If you say your christian and gay,u really arent christian.Because if u were a real one,u would support that having same sex marriage and being gay or lez is wrong.If you read your bible,it says that its wrong.God made ADAM (MAN) and EVE(WOMEN) not adam and steve! A man and a women to be married is natural and effortless.Its beautiful and shall be kept that way.I know some people grow up to be gay or lez in so many ways and its not their fault,but u could try to grow out of that.I dont hate LGBT,but i just dont support it.

    1. TIA honestly no one gives a danm what you think. its not something you grow out of dont you think if we could chose who we want to love and who not we would all have the perfect partners? but we cant love does not know color nor does it know gender it is just something that happens and whether it be a man or a woman love itself is a beautiful thing. As long as your heart is right and you believe in whatever religion you are you will go where you should be at the end of your life.

    2. Marriage in itself is “unnatural.” You sign a paper and then boom, you’re married. It’s not innate, so to suggest it is comes off as silly. Also, according to the Bible everyone is a sinner; no sin is greater than any other. So you might as well say that no one who professes to be a Christian is actually Christian. That Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve thing is ridiculous. The world’s population is good (overpopulated in some countries actually). God could’ve easily made it so every woman and man could sexually reproduce/bare children, which is not the case. If you think about it, put a heterosexual couple and a homosexual couple on the right and left, take “physical sex/intimacy” out of the equation and what do you have? Two groups of individuals that love each other, SIMPLE AS THAT. And what happens if your spouse (God forbid) gets into an accident where they are paralyzed from the waste down and you can no longer make love? Do you stay with them or run off with someone with whom you can reproduce/have sex with? So in other words, keep your fake “it’s not that fault,” because you just contradicted yourself big time. What was the point of your spiel if you were just going to throw that out there? People love to look at one side of the argument or set of information that supports their claim, but fail to look at the bigger picture and equally valid pints.

  6. 1. Love comes naturally so does homosexuality.
    2. Think homosexual marriages are valid due to the fact that heterosexuals (Barbaric – not all of them, but there are some) disown their own flesh and blood for adoption and homosexuals just pick up the broken pieces and start a family. – Tell me how is that not valid?
    3. I come from a family that is known is SA as “boere”, not one homosexual in sight. But here I am today. Loud and proud!
    4. WTF???
    5. The ancient Greeks tell us about homosexuality 550 BC. – if that’s not for a long time then I don’t know. And BTW woman are not property. Equality people, what a dumb arse (whoever wrote this shit).

    And the list can go on and on.

    But why argue. Live your life the way you want to, homo, hetro, bi etc – just be happy AF!


    1. I agree with you women aren’t property and if my friends like the same sex I wouldn’t mind it love is only a natural thing just comes in different ways. Not about the skin only the soul and how the person you love treats you. I wish people would stop saying the homosexual will adopt children and turn them gay, it’s nothing like that at all they want take care of child and don’t care who their kid falls in love with as long that person makes them happy like every parent should.

  7. Hold the hell up, ‘ Black people can’t marry whites’ last time I checked my friend bible doesn’t say if your white you need marry your own color skin. We are one race and I seen happy couple where are married that is Africa American and white, so your wrong it doesn’t matter who you marry or what color they are we are only human. And just because someone gay doesn’t mean their saying children that will be their some kids out there 20 years or little older raised by same sex parents that are married to opposite sex. They teach their kids not judge people by their sexuality and many things, I was raised by single mother she’s not gay neither am I. I was taught not judge people by their skin and sexuality in fact I am biracial, their other people not same color skinned getting married right now because they know we are one human race only different skin tone and personality.

  8. Hi Brian, I originally came across your post in the (so far fruitless) search for a logically sound argument against gay marriage and why in not allowing it society is better off. My reason for this search was to bolster my critical thinking due to advice I once received that was when formulating a philosophical position on a subject the best way to create a strong foundation is to understand the arguments from the devil’s advocate side. Due to this approach the element that I found of most interest were the replies. I replied a couple of times in different styles to see what would happen, which was not much just a bit of abuse from one when I quoted the Bible. As a Psychology student, my area of interest in the replies to your post is the genesis and effects of peoples reactions and searching for theories around improving social-wide mental health, severely complicated by a phenomena dubbed multi-determinism which essentially means that people may display the same behaviors but have multiple and differing causes of the resultant behaviors. So far in my learning journey my nascent hypothesis is that it appears that strong irrational opinions, that we all have to a greater or lesser extent, and aggressive positions come from a combination of cultural factors, education, coping mechanisms and personality dynamics related to unrecognized frustrations and previous traumatic experience. To give you an example: Patient ‘A’ came to see a psychologist for relationship difficulties that ‘A’ believed were the result of PTSD from previous military service. ‘A’ also displayed very aggressive attitudes to many minority groups and a lack of patience with perceived slights. After two years of therapy it was unearthed that ‘A’ had developed ‘PTSD’ only after retirement. ‘A’ had a naturally narcissistic personality and had never really learned to understand their partner and children between deployments. ‘A’ had also had a strict and violent father and had never learned an emotional vocabulary. Fortunately ‘A’ had a level of insight compatible with therapy. After this therapy ‘A’ had learned that the aggression displayed towards minority groups and others was an emotional transference to ‘easier’ targets because ‘A’ didn’t recognize that the real frustrations and fears of rejection were because of anxiety around not having the language to communicate their feelings with their partner and children on an emotional and non-conflictual level. Since then with help learning to recognize their own sources of anxiety and good personal motivation ‘A’ has become a different person: jovial, more forgiving, less judgemental, patient, with a good familial relationship and much happier in general. ‘A’s opinions about others and minorities that have no negative impact on their life has become more neutral or even positive in some cases. Of course that is only one cause of social aggression, but highlights that changes to social aggression levels are possible. So the search continues for social psychology theories that have a beneficial effect on peoples frustrations and transferred aggression that negatively impact society. Thank you Brian for your portal into brief glimpses of peoples thoughts and the resultant contribution to my studies. All the best for your future. Regards Davo.

  9. All the haters need to fuck off. Let people be happy. If you had a gay child wouldn’t you want them to grow up happy and marry someone that they love. I would hope you do. Children shouldn’t grow up thinking it is a sin to love the same sex.

  10. This is the most stupid shit I´ve ever read. Are you seriuos right now? I´m literally crying from laughter. XD XD XD

  11. You people are what’s wrong with the world today. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a larger amount of dumbasses/ignorant people in such as small place.

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