Dealing with the consequences

A few months ago, I made the mistake of joining in on an online conversation about Mitt Romney. He had been tossing the word “conservative” around quite a bit around that time, and the media had pointed out how he seemed to be doing so mainly because the other candidates on the Republican side were considered more appealing to conservative voters. When I pointed out that Romney’s use of the word was probably more about being socially conservative than fiscally conservative, I opened a can of worms. Two women commenced to attacking me personally over my sexuality. While I tried to keep my responses as cordial and impersonal as possible, they did the opposite. As other users joined in the discussion and began getting nasty with the women, I bowed out.

Last night, for some unknown reason, one of these women resurrected the thread by posting the following:

Brian… YOU are a pig using such language online and TO a WOMAN… YOU can go straight to hell MAN using the F word w. and about me. Stuff your immorality up where the sun doesn’t shine. ROMNEY 2012… OBAMA SUCKS and NEEDS TO BE OUT In NOV!

Keep in mind that I never used any foul language in my comments. Another user did, but apparently the gay guy had to suffer the consequences. When the other woman jumped back in to congratulate her for her comment, she continued.

Good on YOU ANA… NO reason we have to take the filth Brian and all of his SICK and IMMORAL LIFESTYLE, virtureless (sic) lifestyle.

The second woman accused gays of causing wars, corrupting the entertainment industry, and worshiping false gods. Neither woman seemed to feel the least bit conflicted by being so hateful while claiming to be Christian.

I spent the better part of today trying to figure out how to respond to this outrageous behavior. I posted a response out of anger, but quickly deleted it before either of them responded. I posted a sarcastic response in hopes they wouldn’t think I cared what they said, but deleted it as well. Of course I cared. I finally just gave up and blocked them from being able to see my comments or profile page.

The thing that bothers me so much is that I am 38 years old and still encountering people who can bully me into silence with their pathetic, ignorant words. I “turn the other cheek” because it’s just who I am. I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings, even when they are hurting mine.

The lady who was particularly vicious had photos of her family on her profile page. Although part of me wanted to tell her where to go and what to do, I couldn’t help thinking that is someone’s grandmother. How would I feel if someone said something terrible to my mother online? But what if my mother attacked another person like that just because they are gay? Wouldn’t she deserve it?

I know, for the rest of my life, I will continue to come across people who feel it’s their responsibility to show me the error of my ways. I guess that’s just one of the consequences of living my life openly. It hurts, but hiding my true self would hurt so much more.

Author: Brian

Blogger. Bookworm. Michael Jackson fanatic. Lives in Kentucky with partner of 12 years and three fabulous felines.

2 thoughts on “Dealing with the consequences”

  1. You are courageous. You are loving. You are patient. You are Godly. You are kind. You are forgiving. You are AMAZING!!

    I wept when I read this, and have been moping around for two hours this morning. I used to think the label “homophobic” was misplaced – that people who were against gays weren’t afraid, they just had different beliefs and values. Anyone who is as angry and hateful as the women you described is afraid of something. Fear is evil. Fear is ugly. I feel sorry for their children and grandchildren, I do. Odds are that these women have members of their families whom they love dearly who are gay, these women just don’t know it. I wonder if it would change the way they look at other gays if they knew the whole truth about their own families and extended families?

    I’m proud of you, Brian. I wish I could give you a huge hug right now and shower you with words of encouragement. You are one of the most Christ-like men I know. You are loving and sensitive to those who would declare themselves your enemy. You know Love.

    “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

    Brian, you are loved by a Heavenly Father. Since God is for you, who can be against you? No one that matters. Peace.


    1. I love you, Jim. You are a Godsend to me. You always know exactly what to say to make me feel better.

      I certainly don’t feel Christ-like all the time, but I do try to err on the side of kindness toward others. Honey says I’m too nice to most people, but I just despise conflict.

      I’m probably too sensitive, as well. Where most people would laugh off something like this, I dwell on it and try to figure out why in the world she has so much hatred for someone she has never met.

      Anyway, thanks so much for your kind words. I love the verse you included. I read your comment just before leaving for work, and walked out the door with tears streaming down my face.

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