It’s easy to get reflective and pensive on this anniversary of my birth, but I will try to refrain since I am already having some difficulty with depression. I started taking Paxil last Monday and stopped on Friday. It made me feel absolutely miserable. I felt like I was in a fog all day and couldn’t sleep at night; not a good combination. I know there is an adjustment period, but there are also long-term side effects that I don’t want to deal with.
My doctor pointed out that counseling would account for about 60% of the remedy, so we’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, I have decided to try to remove as many stress factors from my life as possible. Exercise also seems key, as it is a natural way to increase serotonin levels.
I am not anti-medication. Paxil was a lifesaver for me several years ago and I am thankful that medical science can help so many people. Maybe I just haven’t hit bottom yet, because I am still optimistic that there are viable alternatives. I don’t want to numb myself to the world around me just to get through life. I want to feel sorrow right along with joy, I just don’t want the darkness to take over my life to the point that I feel drained of energy and the will to live.