It’s easy to get reflective and pensive on this anniversary of my birth, but I will try to refrain since I am already having some difficulty with depression. I started taking Paxil last Monday and stopped on Friday. It made me feel absolutely miserable. I felt like I was in a fog all day and couldn’t sleep at night; not a good combination. I know there is an adjustment period, but there are also long-term side effects that I don’t want to deal with.

My doctor pointed out that counseling would account for about 60% of the remedy, so we’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, I have decided to try to remove as many stress factors from my life as possible. Exercise also seems key, as it is a natural way to increase serotonin levels.

I am not anti-medication. Paxil was a lifesaver for me several years ago and I am thankful that medical science can help so many people. Maybe I just haven’t hit bottom yet, because I am still optimistic that there are viable alternatives. I don’t want to numb myself to the world around me just to get through life. I want to feel sorrow right along with joy, I just don’t want the darkness to take over my life to the point that I feel drained of energy and the will to live.

Author: Brian

Blogger. Bookworm. Michael Jackson fanatic. Lives in Kentucky with partner of 12 years and three fabulous felines.

1 thought on “Depression”

  1. I know how you feel. I needed antidepressants for a while to get through a tough time in high school, but I feel so much better without them now. I still have bad days, yes, but I know that they won’t last forever and there are more good days than bad. The thing I like most about being off the medication is that I cry again. I didn’t realize how numb I had become while on the meds until I went off them and started feeling emotions again!

    I hope the counseling goes well for you, and I hope that you get more good days. ;)

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