Like most people, I go through ups-and-downs in my spiritual journey. There are times when I am excited about being part of a church family, and there are periods when attending church doesn’t interest me in the least. I am now firmly entrenched in one of those low periods.
The thing is, I have good friends at church who worry when I don’t attend. Although I completely understand their concern, attending church simply doesn’t feel like an authentic expression of faith to me at this time. My lack of faith is so overwhelming and all-consuming that I feel like a total hypocrite when I mouth the prayers or sing along with the hymns.
So, I just don’t go. I sleep in on Sunday mornings and revel in my laziness. I meet my church friends for lunch or dinner on other days of the week, and catch up on church news through word of mouth or bulletins I receive in the mail.
Even though I feel like a big phony when I do occasionally attend services, I still miss it. It is nice to have a church that truly accepts me for who I am, and I know there aren’t many religious organizations in the area who would give me the same amount of respect. That has got to count for something.
As in the past, Honey keeps encouraging me to go. I bring up my lack of faith, and he says God would probably rather have the faithless in church just in case they come across something to believe in.
You can see why we are so perfectly matched.