Still haven’t found what I’m looking for

The Pentecostal church I grew up in had drums, guitars, and tambourines. Hymns were old fashioned and easy to sing, and music literally filled the sanctuary and spilled out the windows for the benefit of the neighboring houses. People stood, clapped in time, tapped their feet, raised their hands toward heaven, and sometimes even danced in the aisles and around the wooden altar that stood in front of the stage. Songs like “I’ll Fly Away” and “Just A Closer Walk With Thee” are as ingrained into my personal makeup as my Kentucky accent.

I left the Pentecostal denomination as a young adult because I was sick and tired of the constant onslaught of sermons dealing with homosexuality. Regardless of my disagreements with some of the denomination’s beliefs, I never stopped adoring the sights and sounds of spirit-filled worship.

It will soon be four years since I started attending a local UCC (United Church of Christ), and while I couldn’t ask for a more open and accepting congregation, I have never been satisfied with the style of music or worship. Most song selections are unfamiliar and chosen solely for their relation to the sermon’s topic, which leaves many of us struggling to sing or not singing at all.

I visited a friend’s church on Sunday – one that is the polar opposite of my church. Where we are quiet and reserved, they were loud and charismatic. Seeing a different style of worship was very interesting, but it was still a far cry from the church of my youth. This mega-church-in-the-making had a band and the music had a decidedly rock and roll sound. Songs were once again unfamiliar, so the words were projected onto large screens on each side of the stage.

After all these years, I still haven’t found a church that fulfills my expectations in the musical arena, and I’m beginning to wonder if a church even exists that combines both my preferred style of music and a non-discriminatory stance on homosexuality. It just doesn’t seem right that I have to compromise one or the other in order to attend church.

Author: Brian

Blogger. Bookworm. Michael Jackson fanatic. Lives in Kentucky with partner of 12 years and three fabulous felines.

4 thoughts on “Still haven’t found what I’m looking for”

  1. Just a random thought…does anyone believe that holiness people only stick around other holiness people dispite having a family that isn’t holiness…I have a daughter that married into a holiness family…we talk every once in a while but me and my family only get invited to birthdays and we will see each other on thanksgiving and Christmas maybe a few other times but that’s about it…but her husbands family and church group do a lot of stuff together..I’m just confused

    1. From my experience, this is normal behavior for Holiness people. They take the Bible verse about being in the world but not of the world very literally, and will keep to themselves as much as possible. Most of them have family members who aren’t Holiness, but those relationships are typically either strained or estranged. Then factor in something like having a gay son and you can imagine how separated the family unit can become. It’s a shame.

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