Marriage equality is law



After two decades as an openly-gay man, I am one step closer to having the same rights as everyone else in this country. It isn’t every day that we get to witness true history being made on the civil rights front, but this is definitely one of those days.

Hooray for SCOTUS and all the men and women who worked tirelessly to make this happen. I am proud to be part of a community that doesn’t sit back and settle, but fights for what it wants. Here’s hoping the world becomes a much kinder and gentler place going forward.

I will try to write more later, but I am too excited to concentrate right now. =)

Poll: 58 percent of Americans support marriage equality

From Huffington Post:

Less than a week before the Supreme Court hears arguments on both the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and Proposition 8 cases, a new Washington Post-ABC News poll shows a record 58 percent of Americans supporting marriage equality, up five points from last year when barely a majority were supportive. Most ominous for the GOP is that among 18 to 29 year-olds, a whopping 81 percent support marriage equality.

Fifty-eight percent support is amazing, especially when you consider President Obama didn’t even receive that percentage of the vote in the 2012 election. The numbers among the younger group aren’t really surprising to me. It’s the old, bigoted people in this country (here’s looking at you, Scalia) who are holding us back. At least we can count on them aging out of the system.


Poet Walt Whitman, who is widely thought to have been homosexual, wrote this poem in the 1800’s. Could it be more appropriate for our current struggle for marriage equality?

I Hear It Was Charged Against Me
by Walt Whitman

I hear it was charged against me that I sought to destroy institutions,
But really I am neither for nor against institutions,
(What indeed have I in common with them? or what with the destruction of them?)
Only I will establish in the Mannahatta and in every city of these States inland and seaboard,
And in the fields and woods, and above every keel little or large that dents the water,
Without edifices or rules or trustees or any argument,
The institution of the dear love of comrades.

My thoughts on the Chick-Fil-A controversy

I can’t get the Chick-Fil-A thing off of my mind. I suppose it affects me more than most because of my sexuality. I actually liked their food and would often recommend it to others in my area, but I have now made up my mind that I will never EVER eat there again.

What bothers me the most is that I probably know people who went to a Chick-Fil-A yesterday. There were probably members of my family who took time out of their day just to go, just to show that they will never support marriage equality. No matter what they claim, the throngs of people who showed up at CFA restaurants yesterday weren’t there because of freedom of speech; they were there to show their disdain for the LGBT community.

What about all the gay and lesbian youth in this country who watched the news footage of hordes of anti-gay “Christians” standing in line to get a chicken sandwich? Don’t you think they are affected deeply knowing those people are their family members, friends, church members, etc? Don’t you think that will just drive them deeper into a place where they feel unloved? How many of those kids will ultimately take their lives as a result?

What about the poor employees of Chick-Fil-A, gay and straight, who had to deal with eons of comments for and against bigotry. Imagine how many of those employees are just trying to make a living. Imagine how many aren’t anti-gay, but have LGBT friends and family members they love. Imagine having to remain neutral in your interactions with people who are passive-aggressively complimenting your place of work for their homophobic business practices.

I’m still confused as to why people get so bent out of shape over marriage equality. How does allowing more people to participate in something lessen its value? No one can “weaken” or “destroy” the institution of marriage as long as there are people willing to enter into matrimony with any level of seriousness. No one can destroy a marriage except for the two people who are in it.

The same people who pretend to be so upset over “freedom of speech” are the same ones willing to spend their time and money restricting the freedoms of others.

It’s a sad, sad world.

10 things that won’t change when gay marriage becomes legal

Dearest Heteros,

I have been rather incensed lately by some of the commentary that I’ve been reading on conservative, “Christian” blogs regarding gay marriage. You seem so worked up over something that will have absolutely no bearing on your life. One commentator said that he needs to “defend” marriage, as if somehow allowing more people to marry will make his marriage less valid and secure. Maybe you’re all afraid of diluting the matrimony pool or something. Maybe you’re afraid that giving all those good-looking guys and gals the option of tying the knot will provide more competition for you. I don’t get it.

I just want to reassure you of some of the things that will remain completely unchanged after gay marriage becomes legal. We all know it’s going to happen eventually, so calm down, prepare yourself, and read the following points to make yourselves feel a little better.

  1. You will still be able to date straight men and women. We gays might think some of them are hot from time to time, but they probably aren’t going to be interested in dating/marrying someone of the same sex. See… no increase in competition.
  2. You’ll still be able to get a marriage license. It might not say “husband” or “wife” on it, but that will simply give you more leeway when deciding who is going to wear the pants in the family.
  3. You will still be able to have sex, but those of you who like to thump Bibles over the gay issue should be aware that intercourse before marriage is considered fornication. I guess that’s okay though, since you’ve been making gays commit fornication for years by prohibiting same-sex marriage. As far as sex after marriage…
  4. Guys, I can guarantee you that your wife will still claim she has a headache several times a month, and she’ll probably completely stop performing oral sex once you “put a ring on it.” I’m referring to a wedding ring, of course, so get your minds out of the gutter. Just remember that your wife might be refusing to go downtown because she doesn’t want to commit the mortal sin of sodomy. Yeah, I bet you didn’t realize that anything besides vaginal-penile intercourse is sodomy, huh? You abominable little sodomite, you.
  5. I can promise your mother-in-law will still be showing up unexpectedly for the weekend. That is unless your spouse has a gay sibling, since I’m sure she would have much more fun spending her weekend with them getting mani-pedis or picking out gardening tools at the Home Depot.
  6. You men will still be expected to go shopping for something fabulous to give wifey on anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. Don’t blame us if all the good gifts are gone when you get there. You had all those years to pick out the good stuff while we were at home crying in our closets.
  7. Ladies, don’t expect your husbands to instantly start showering properly and picking out clothes that match just because the gay guys living next door are immaculately groomed and attractive. Straight guys will continue to stay in touch with their masculine side by languishing in their own filth, farting out loud, and scratching their private parts in public. It’s been that way for thousands of years, and we wouldn’t want anything to change now would we?
  8. Gentleguys, your wife is still going to expect you to mow the lawn, take out the trash, and walk the dog. Just because the two ladies across the street are sharing those chores doesn’t mean you’re getting off the hook. You married for better or worse, right? Sometimes “worse” includes picking up dog poop and carrying it home in a plastic baggie.
  9. If and when the behavior of your significant other becomes completely intolerable, you will still be able to file for a divorce. Keep in mind that you may not be able to afford a divorce since you spent all your extra money trying to keep gays from getting married, but you can always move to opposite ends of the house. We know you conveniently “forgot” about that whole divorce thing being bad for marriage, but we’ll keep that little tidbit on the down low.
  10. And finally, you know all those earthquakes, hurricanes, and terrorist attacks that the crazies claim will happen when gays get married? Those are going to happen anyway. I mean, if God uses cataclysmic events to punish us for our behavior, He must have really hated those dinosaurs.

In all seriousness, though, there isn’t anything to worry about. You can continue on with your lives as before, safe in the knowledge that your marriage is significant and worthwhile. You can even watch us make fools of ourselves as we get a crash course in what it means to be legally joined with another person. I’m sure you’ll have lots of laughs and opportunities to poke fun, but remember that some of you have had a lifetime of experience and more support from the community at large than we could ever dream of.

You may gloat over the fact that we can’t reproduce without scientific or outside intervention. You can feel a little glee in knowing we might never feel comfortable or safe holding hands in public. You may wear your homophobia, your discrimination, and your fear of change like a badge for the rest of your lives, but know this… we will prevail. We are on the right side of history, and time will prove that you are wrong.

Queerly yours,