Over a year ago, I wrote about my hesitancy at becoming a member of my church. My concerns were centered around two points: my lack of faith and wanting to join the church as a couple.
At the time I wrote the aforementioned entry, my partner and I were in entirely different frames of mind spiritually. While his faith was growing, mine seemed to be weakening, which caused the statement of faiths that one must make when joining the church seem like an insurmountable hurdle.
Over the last year, I’ve found my faith resurging. I wrote about one of my “aha!” moments a few months ago – one that has had a profound impact on my view of and belief in God. I followed that with a prayer, in which I explained the comfort that resulted from my renewed faith.
Regardless of the leaps that I seemed to be making on my spiritual journey, I still felt hesitancy when my pastor emailed to ask if we might be interested in becoming members later this month. I replied that I didn’t think I was ready at this time, mainly because of my lack of faith. Karen assured me that it would be impossible for anyone to join the church if they held themselves to such a high standard of belief. That made sense, so I decided to discuss the possibility with Honey when he got home from work that evening. I also prayed and told God that I wanted to make sure this was His will, because I didn’t want to do anything He didn’t want me to do.
When Honey arrived, I casually mentioned the pastor’s suggestion and was surprised when he voiced his approval. We agreed to tell no one until the following Sunday, which would provide us time to ponder our decision.
He picked up a hymnal from the church the next day so that we could read through the ceremony that would be performed if we joined. As I read questions pertaining to belief in God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, I realized I could truthfully answer each of those questions with “I do.” Honey felt the same way. It struck me how similar this would be to a wedding ceremony.
I spent the rest of the week thinking about the importance of what we were going to do, and even emailed my “associate pastor” Jim to get someone else’s viewpoint. He, as always, knew exactly what to say to both encourage and enlighten me.
When Sunday rolled around, we pulled our pastor aside and informed her of our decision. She quickly assuaged any remaining concerns that we had and reassured us that we were ready.
Perhaps it is no coincidence that for the first time in the 3+ years that we’ve been attending our church, I do feel ready.